I spent time today, fabulous wondrous time, with a few women whom I don’t get to see often enough, as they live about an hour away from me. We met a few years ago in an art class, about five of us, and developed a connection that felt pretty solid fairly quickly. You know how it is when you recognize a tribe member, that first glimmer of joy, the soul-filling sensation of immediate empathy. And the more we talked, sitting around a table while painting, gluing, cutting…. the more commonalities we found. Some of them were pretty unusual too, considering the span of our ages and backgrounds. I’m the only grandmother (what else is new?), another girl brought her baby. But a kindred spirit was apparent quickly, and we settled in to meeting bi-weekly, ostensibly to make art. And it’s true. Some art did get made. But equally important, real friendships were made.
Connection equals life to me. That’s what I value, crave, and enjoy most. I love to hear peoples’ stories, I love to watch how they operate, I love to figure out what goes on inside. And yes, I’ve been told repeatedly, annoyingly lol, that I go too “deep.” It’s not for everyone, I get it. And I’m not forcing it on anyone either; I’m happy to back off if it makes you uncomfortable, of course. We can change the subject, we can discuss shoes or something if you prefer. But me, I’m taking it alllllll in. I’m enjoying your passion for shoes or whatever. Either way, I’m finding you fascinating, in all your weird shoe-fixation.
When we first arrived, I asked Teri something about her hair and when she responded I realized she’d told me that before, and I had forgotten. Then I did something similar to that like three more times in five minutes, and felt a little bad about it. Why don’t I remember these things? Sometimes I forget important things, information that is significant about you but I can’t seem to keep it in my head. It’s a failing that makes me look shallow, I feel, as if I don’t really care. But I swear I do, I really do. I just operate too often at warp speed, and things move rapidly across the threshing floor to make room for the next things. Is this a flaw? I believe so, and I am trying to slow my life down. But it’s gonna take me a minute.
We talked and laughed about so many things today. So very satisfying to talk of real things with real women. Nobody’s frontin’, no one is ashamed to be fully themselves. What a gift that is, all the way around! One of the women has moved away and we miss her terribly. Another lives in another country off and on, and she was not with us today, but sorely missed. I have learned SO much from these sister friends, as they all are givers. Giving and generosity have long been traits I’ve wanted to see grow in my life, and as I listened and watched them serve in their communities I became inspired enough to take action. It is thanks to them that I have found my own place of service, and I have to say that it’s been one of the best surprises of the past year. I’m so thankful for the examples of these girls.
So many things about growing older have been surprises to me. I’m a bit of a backwards girl, so I find myself working harder with each year. When I was younger I was pretty chill about work, but I cleverly waited for my body to weaken before asking it to do more. Ahhh well…. And growing surprises me. I had no idea that as I aged I’d want to explore MORE, to understand MORE, to discover MORE. New ideas, new understandings, new perspectives. I can’t get enough. I take so much pleasure now in figuring out how life works, how I work even. And much of that discovery takes place in relationship, in eating lunch with wild girlfriends who also value learning, growing, and sharing. Robin announced today, “Here’s something I know about Kevan,” and proceeded to speak my truth, my internal workings aloud. And I listened and was thrilled to know that she liked me enough to observe me, to understand me, and then share what she saw. That felt like real love to me. Oh, she made my day with that. To be KNOWN. Isn’t that a great gift?! Wow….. I have to just sit with that for a minute and take that in…..
Because I am so fascinated with the stories of others, I always secretly want others to find me equally interesting lol. But what I have to understand is that everyone is made up differently, and not all of you got the prying, deep-diving gene. And that’s probably good. I’ll plumb and poke around enough for us all. Nobody needs all that messy exploration all over everything anyway. I shall be the secret keeper of our stories, and if you get the urge for a wild woman lunch date, with much forgetfulness, great tacos, and deep diving, please keep me in mind.